How to Tell if Your Girlfriend is Pregnant
Is your girlfriend pregnant?
Think your girlfriend is pregnant? Or did your girlfriend tell you she is pregnant? Is your girlfriend really pregnant or faking it to see your reaction? Is it yours? How can you tell if she’s telling the truth or not? What are the symptoms? What do I do? Am I trapped?
Slow down, hoss. If you suspect your mattress mambo mate might be pregnant, here are the early warning signs that she could have a bun in the oven (your girlfriend is pregnant).
Top 6 Early Warning Signs Your Girlfriend is Pregnant:
Ejaculate in vagina -You had unprotected sex, gave her your best “O” face and she isn’t on any form of birth control. Smart move, jackass. She missed her period. Do the math – is she really late? A day or two doesn’t matter, but after a week I’d say you probably have a pregnant girlfriend.
Huge boobies – She complains of (or you can visually see) that her breasts are swollen and her nipples are sensitive. This can also happen during a normal menstrual cycle and with fluctuating hormones, but is often a first sign of pregnant girlfriend syndrome.
Excessive fatigue – beyond lazy teenager syndrome. If she takes naps at the drop of a hat like a narcoleptic, she could be pregnant due to low blood sugar levels.
Morning sickness – this can start anywhere between the 2nd and 8th week, but usually around the 6th. The rising levels of estrogen cause the stomach to empty slowly and become more sensitive to smells which contribute to the waves of nausea they may experience.
Ice cream and ramen – she has random food cravings and aversions. She craves strange food combinations she normally doesn’t eat or even the thought or smell of certain foods makes her sick to her stomach. Ever heard the phrase, “are you eating for two?” or “damn, son! You eat like a pregnant lady!” This is why.
If your girlfriend is consistently showing any of these signs above, you could have a pregnant girlfriend on your hands. She could also just be a normal teenager that sleeps constantly, always craves junk food and drinks so many Smirnoff Ices she has to pee every 20 minutes. So, here’s a few other tricks to truly find out if your girlfriend is pregnant or not.
- Check her birth control pills. Is she on the correct date? If it’s Friday and the pill container still says Tuesday, you might have a problem – or that your girlfriend doesn’t know what day of the week it is.
- Check the trash for pregnancy tests. Chances are they aren’t her mom’s.
- Did she say she missed her period? Check the trash again for any used tampons.
- Check her computer and phone’s internet browsing history. Did she Google “how to tell if you are pregnant?” Are there any clues on her Facebook or Twitter…like saying she thinks she’s pregnant? It might be that obvious. Don’t be a stalker, just see if there is anything suspicious and don’t get caught.
- Is she being royally bitchy, more than usual? Increased hormone levels + stress + her knowing she’s pregnant and keeping it a secret = bitch in heat.
The only way to truly tell if you have pregnant girlfriend is to for her to take one or two home pregnancy tests such as First Response. You can buy these tests at any grocery or convenience store, or even order them online. They come with simple instructions on how to properly administer the test to avoid any false positives. These tests are urine tests and are typically 97-99.9% accurate.
Ideally, you want her to take the test at least a week after her missed period and in the morning, before she eats or drinks. This will provide the most accurate results. Finally, see a doctor for blood tests, which are nearly 100% accurate. At this point, you are going to want to start thinking about the right action to take with your pregnant girlfriend.
How did you find out your girlfriend was pregnant?