750,000 Teen Pregnancies every year.
Oops – You got your girlfriend or random girl you just met pregnant. Or you might have thought the pull-out method worked or your lady friend confused her birth control for skittles. Hopefully your panic attacked has stopped before you squeezed your balls with vise grips. Read on, as I promise this will help with your pregnant girlfriend problem.
To be a father, or not? Teenpregnancy.org, a site managed by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, states that there are “750,000 teen pregnancies annually. Eight in ten of these pregnancies are unintended and 81% are to unmarried teens.” That is 600,000 babies being born to teens and young adults who are still adolescents themselves during the most controversial period of their lives.
The Millennial generation (born 1980-2000) apparently finds it acceptable to have unprotected sex in their teen years and have their first child before they get their driver’s license. Before you can even graduate from high school you are applying for welfare and changing diapers. Not a good start to what is supposed to be the best years of your life. All you wanted to do was bang the hot chick at school but now she is pregnant with your lust child and you have a major decision to make.
When your lady friend tells you that your seed has made its way to mate with her egg (she’s pregnant), you have a few choices that don’t involve pushing her down a flight of stairs or a back alleyway abortion. (I don’t recommend either but I might as well put all options on the table.) Jokes aside, this is something not to be taken lightly and will require more thought than the amount of effort you put in choosing to bang this girl in the first place. You have to use your BIG head for this one, pal.
1. Hooray! I’m so happy we are having a kid!
I could never pull that off. I literally came close to fainting when my girlfriend sent me the one text I will never forget. “The pregnancy test is positive, I’m so so sorry. ” (Who sends text messages with that kind of information?)
Some people just love kids and want to have two or ten of them. That’s great, you can be the next Kate Plus Eight. If you are at a point in your life where you can responsibly support a child and a mother financially then more power to you. However, if you are 18, can’t pass your GED test, live at home, don’t work or have a shitty job and think having a kid will make your relationship better with your girlfriend and “just know everything will work out fine” then please bang your head against the wall until you never think that again. That is the exact opposite of what will happen. If you fall in or anywhere near that category, I suggest you read into Option #2.
2. I’m not ready for this; let’s consider having an abortion or putting the child up for adoption.
I’ll say this first. Regardless of what propaganda you read or hear, abortion is not a bad thing and putting a child up for adoption can be a responsible choice. Wanting to experience your own life before having a child is not being selfish. Clearly, I am pro-choice. Being pro-choice allows a woman to make her own decisions about her body and if she is not ready to care for a child for any reason, like being unmarried, poor, or in her teens – or all three, she can abort. One my favorite books, Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner clearly lies our the data shows the single reason that crimes in the United States plummeted in the 1990′s was due to the legalization of abortion during the infamous Roe v. Wade case in 1973. It’s no surprise that parents who actually want their children raise their kids properly and their children don’t grow up to break into my house and rob me. Go figure.
3. I’m unsure, but my ex says she is excited and wants to keep it so I guess I’ll do the “right thing” and be a Dad.
Wrong answer, Chief. If you are unsure about anything there are major repercussions to come. If you play online poker, which most lazy Americans do these days, this is an all in or fold situation. You are 110% committed or you aren’t. Choosing this option usually results in an attempt to force yourself into a situation you do not want to be apart of and eventually you lose your sanity, break down and leave your mother and child behind and get thrown into the “Dead-Beat Dad” bucket. This is the worst possible situation to be in. Trust me when I say this.
And that’s what happened to me. I was twenty at the time my girlfriend became pregnant. I knew without a doubt that I did not want to be with her for the rest of my life so the old-school tradition of rushing marriage before the baby came was not an option. Frankly, what a stupid option that is anyway. I did plenty of research on abortions, talked to doctors and women’s clinics. I tried with every ounce in me to convince my girlfriend (I was a salesman at the time, so I figured I could sell her on this) that an abortion is something we needed to do and eventually she had agreed – reluctantly.
Around this same time her stripper friend just had her second abortion (Note: abortion is not a form of preventative birth control) and told my girlfriend that she has hated her life (I’m sure this had nothing to do with her own daddy issues) since then and can’t stop drinking and doing cocaine. I figured that was part of a stripper’s regular routine, but my girlfriend thought this was due to the abortion.
By this point my girlfriend is about three months pregnant. We continued with her regular doctor’s appointments so her parents did not know we were planning an abortion. I still hadn’t told anyone in my family yet. I thought I was almost out of the horrific pregnancy woods. The appointment for the abortion was less than a week away but we still had one more doctor’s appointment to attend. At this particular appointment, this would be the first time we would be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat.
Hearing the baby’s heartbeat changed everything. No more abortion. I told my girlfriend that everything would be fine and we would get through this together. Boy, was I wrong.
I made the mistake of not being 100% committed – or 100% not committed and got caught up in the middle and made a lot of expensive mistakes. If you haven’t figured it out by now you really only have two options. There is no “man up and be a dad” option like I’ve heard so often. You can’t and shouldn’t force yourself to be someone you are not ready to be.
Choose to be a father or not and stick with it, otherwise it will cost you dearly in the end in the form of lawyers fees, missed time with your child and emotional damage. I am glad I made the decision to be apart of my little girl’s life and I can only imagine the mental anguish and pain I would be going through knowing I have a baby girl out there that doesn’t have her real father. Call me crazy.
So, when your girlfriend tells you she is pregnant, sit down and talk about all of the options. You only get to make this decision once and this will affect all three of your lives forever.